ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
