It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm too high and old for this...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
