U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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