So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
