are you still at the devil's house?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
