I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf