I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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