Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
