the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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