i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
