a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
