Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
