The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
