I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
