Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.