I just threw up on my dentist
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
