Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.