Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
