eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
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