the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My liver just broke up with me...
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
