i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize