i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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