i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
