i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
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It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
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Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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