Texts From Last Night

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  (234): View more from Ohio

  Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey

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  (234): Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey http://tfl.nu/njnw
  Replies (1) Good night (1444) Bad night (616)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  he broke up with me so i peed in his bed

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  (503): he broke up with me so i peed in his bed http://tfl.nu/g0ev
  Replies (15) Good night (2798) Bad night (996)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.

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  (321): When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me. http://tfl.nu/jzk3
  Replies (33) Good night (10483) Bad night (991)
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  (914): View more from New York

  yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans

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  (914): yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans http://tfl.nu/zwc8
  Replies (6) Good night (1056) Bad night (3613)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.

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  (610): It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays. http://tfl.nu/4je9
  Replies (9) Good night (3053) Bad night (822)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?

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  (917): Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her? http://tfl.nu/rn89
  Replies (17) Good night (7195) Bad night (951)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?

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  (918): Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right? http://tfl.nu/jzhy
  Replies (2) Good night (2023) Bad night (681)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss

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  (412): Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss http://tfl.nu/99ou
  Replies (11) Good night (2081) Bad night (1214)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.

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  (918): Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent. http://tfl.nu/zbek
  Replies (13) Good night (3507) Bad night (774)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.

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  (217): 3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa. http://tfl.nu/7ujo
  Replies (2) Good night (1427) Bad night (563)
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  (714): View more from California

  Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.

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  (714): Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume. http://tfl.nu/yo6q
  Replies (16) Good night (667) Bad night (2886)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘

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  (907): I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘 http://tfl.nu/3lq0
  Replies (11) Good night (2570) Bad night (803)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think

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  (615): fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think http://tfl.nu/g5tp
  Replies (15) Good night (1647) Bad night (747)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off

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  (603): Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off http://tfl.nu/n0zv
  Replies (1) Good night (375) Bad night (288)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...

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  (262): Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life... http://tfl.nu/tvsz
  Replies (3) Good night (167) Bad night (385)

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