Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.

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(678): I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time. http://tfl.nu/ogf0

Replies (57) Good night (1477) Bad night (6968)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.

(1-317): View more from Indiana

Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai

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(317): Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta. (1-317): Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai http://tfl.nu/sch5

Replies (5) Good night (681) Bad night (2468)
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(253): View more from Washington

I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.

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(253): I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan. http://tfl.nu/4ryj

Replies (14) Good night (897) Bad night (2847)
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(404): View more from Georgia

you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.

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(404 ): you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood. http://tfl.nu/0x0h

Replies (11) Good night (824) Bad night (4921)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.

(301): View more from Maryland

I accept this challenge.

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(410): Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you. (301): I accept this challenge. http://tfl.nu/mbqm

Replies (61) Good night (19180) Bad night (2134)
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(514): View more from Quebec

Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.

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(514): Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat. http://tfl.nu/flst

Replies (2) Good night (1120) Bad night (2378)
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(417): View more from Missouri

Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.

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(417): Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road. http://tfl.nu/ry0e

Replies (7) Good night (3255) Bad night (1293)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.

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(785): Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before. http://tfl.nu/gt36

Replies (6) Good night (1744) Bad night (1621)
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(312): View more from Illinois

Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend

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(312): Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend http://tfl.nu/fw95

Replies (7) Good night (1656) Bad night (680)
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(785): View more from Kansas

totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted

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(785): totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted http://tfl.nu/rzdq

Replies (2) Good night (3427) Bad night (798)
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(205): View more from Alabama

After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.

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(205): After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis. http://tfl.nu/x2c8

Replies (4) Good night (2100) Bad night (618)
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(937): View more from Ohio

They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.

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(937): They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list. http://tfl.nu/o7iw

Replies (6) Good night (1784) Bad night (508)
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(302): View more from Delaware

Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude

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(302): Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude http://tfl.nu/fr3g

Replies (12) Good night (900) Bad night (1533)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.

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(608): She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws. http://tfl.nu/2p61

Replies (0) Good night (806) Bad night (436)
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(713): View more from Texas

Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"

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(713): Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess" http://tfl.nu/rzf4

Replies (1) Good night (513) Bad night (202)

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