Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?