Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum. http://tfl.nu/f301
  Replies (24) Good night (6403) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.

  (214): View more from Texas

  It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls. (214): It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep. http://tfl.nu/5v3w
  Replies (17) Good night (5108) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry http://tfl.nu/vmjm
  Replies (10) Good night (870) Bad night (4619)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore http://tfl.nu/l7gt
  Replies (37) Good night (5645) Bad night (2176)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  you didnt know i had herpes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): you didnt know i had herpes? http://tfl.nu/e6ph
  Replies (104) Good night (1619) Bad night (38101)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning. http://tfl.nu/qol4
  Replies (5) Good night (3467) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid. http://tfl.nu/baq0
  Replies (2) Good night (1029) Bad night (1979)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so. http://tfl.nu/nluj
  Replies (7) Good night (3448) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am http://tfl.nu/787a
  Replies (13) Good night (2626) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore http://tfl.nu/3p2d
  Replies (10) Good night (2063) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel. http://tfl.nu/uvlc
  Replies (11) Good night (2746) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features. http://tfl.nu/e715
  Replies (10) Good night (1942) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover." http://tfl.nu/wk3b
  Replies (4) Good night (819) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain... http://tfl.nu/qwc4
  Replies (0) Good night (688) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex http://tfl.nu/2x7d
  Replies (1) Good night (583) Bad night (310)

Randomize