I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!