There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
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I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
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Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."