Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize