I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
