i can't believe i had my finger in that
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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