you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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