Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
