dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize