sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
