i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
