Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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