talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
