OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I don't deserve a penis
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
