Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft http://tfl.nu/ob1j
  Replies (26) Good night (1036) Bad night (4564)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned. http://tfl.nu/25dz
  Replies (36) Good night (4930) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night. http://tfl.nu/89jq
  Replies (15) Good night (1742) Bad night (4132)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger. http://tfl.nu/77i8
  Replies (35) Good night (1085) Bad night (14870)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay. http://tfl.nu/4bqn
  Replies (12) Good night (1649) Bad night (4539)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me. http://tfl.nu/bb44
  Replies (23) Good night (1510) Bad night (5347)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed. http://tfl.nu/chu6
  Replies (7) Good night (1741) Bad night (3557)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out. http://tfl.nu/gdzx
  Replies (3) Good night (1992) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420. http://tfl.nu/zl7d
  Replies (3) Good night (1220) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So Monday we're lesbians.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): So Monday we're lesbians. (1-717): Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball. http://tfl.nu/1nin
  Replies (6) Good night (1331) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right? http://tfl.nu/fa38
  Replies (8) Good night (1132) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back http://tfl.nu/26q8
  Replies (5) Good night (1455) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK http://tfl.nu/01hq
  Replies (2) Good night (1046) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese http://tfl.nu/zq39
  Replies (1) Good night (369) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem. http://tfl.nu/08nw
  Replies (3) Good night (384) Bad night (589)

Randomize