i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just puked most of my soul out..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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