I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.