Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread