Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank