Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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