I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
