Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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