Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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