I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
