are you so shy because you have an std?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
