Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
