ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
