i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
