I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
