I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
