somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
