May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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