he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
