How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
