I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize