just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
