i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
