I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
