My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
