You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
