yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
