Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
