so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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