I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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