Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We were destined to go to rehab together
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
