as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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