Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
