I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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