i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Boobs are out for the taking
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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