I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
