i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
