Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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